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Taken in by the Fez

March 11, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

sign showing a man's head wearing a fez hat

Turkish food is my new “comfort food,” so when I saw this restaurant sign, I was hopeful that it would lead me to good food.

indoor fake waterfall and pond

I suspect that someone in the 70’s or maybe 80’s made a killing installing these kitchy fiberglass waterfalls in restaurants all over the country. It’s actually rather charming.

silverware wrapped in paper napkins

I’ve never had my silverware wrapped quite like this before.

plate of various finger foods

We ordered the vague “platter” off the breakfast menu. All but two of the items on this platter involve white bread – regular ol’ sandwich bread. The dark brown ones on the left were the tastiest, but turned out to be chicken breast meat wrapped in a slice of white bread and then deep fat fried. Just when you thought white bread couldn’t get any more unhealthy.

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Abu Dhabi Heritage Village

March 7, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

black and white goat hair tent

We recently spent a day in Abu Dhabi and went to the Heritage Village. We were there close to closing time, so made a quick visit. The highlights include examples of different traditional housing, like the goat hair tent above and the rock mountain house below.

stone house

Palm fronds are also used to construct barasti housing. Due to the desert environment these can last 20 years despite being 100% biodegradable.

hut and fence made out of palm fronds

There is also a small museum. We had to speed through it in about 5 minutes as it was closing time. It is worth going back for, so next time we’ll get there earlier and start with the museum first.

display of Arabic coffee pots

DaddyBird paused briefly to admire the coffee pots.

blue glass vase

There were some very beautiful items on display.

large double blade battle axe

This battle axe was impressive. However, I think if I was going up against an axe like that one, I would want a bigger shield.

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Meatloaf Travesty

March 6, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

So, the meatloaf story begins a few months ago. We were at a hotel bar that attempts to be a British pub. It isn’t very much like a British pub, but that kind of faux imitation is not uncommon here. Our friend, who is genuinely British, looked through the menu and asked us about meatloaf which was listed in the “international” section of the menu. We confirmed what meatloaf is supposed to be – ground beef baked in a bread pan which causes it to look like a loaf of bread. So… he ordered it.

What he got was most certainly not meatloaf. According to the manager, to whom our friend complained, it was made of veal and chicken. Also, even though it was listed as “home made” in the menu, it was something they purchase from an outside source and just heat up when it is ordered. It resembled a thick slice of baloney which had been coated in smoke flavoring and artificial coloring. It was really nasty.

At a later date, to set the record straight on what meatloaf really is, we made meatloaf for him.
meatloaf in the pan

Meatloaf really shouldn’t be a restaurant menu item. It is generally not what people go to a restaurant to have, except maybe at small neighborhood diners where regulars gather for daily meals and you can get a “blue plate special.” Meatloaf is the kind of meal you have at home with your family and you prefer your mom’s version of meatloaf. It is a blue collar kind of meal – hearty and inexpensive.

The “British” pub should find another entre to serve as an American representative on their “international” menu. Maybe chicken fried steak or fried chicken or clam chowder or roast beef. (I won’t bother listing pork chops, pork roast or ham.) These options, however, would require actual meat, not processed & extruded meat byproducts.

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Trip to the Grocery Store

March 5, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

A trip to the grocery store always involves some small amount of entertainment.

toilet paper package stating "gorgeous comfort quilts"

Despite the claim of gorgeous comfort quilts, this is actually toilet paper. I’ve always been amused by this company’s use of labrador puppies on their packaging. It’s like a subliminal message that using their paper is like wiping with a puppy. Well, they’ve cut to the chase and it’s no longer subliminal. “Puppies on a roll.”

toilet paper package stating "puppies on a roll"

One of the things we’ve had difficulty finding is baking soda. Until today, we’ve only found the small cans that are 1/3 the size of the standard Arm & Hammer boxes. It is also quite expensive compared to the price in the States.

box of baking soda and a small can of baking soda

On to the meat section…

packages of testicles in the meat case

Yes, you guessed it. These are testicles. Really large testicles.

close up of label on the package of testicles

We did not purchase any testicles, however, we did get “Indian beef mince” (translated = hamburger) and potatoes, so the meatloaf blog post is just around the corner. Any day now…

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Most Disturbing of Signs

March 4, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

This is the most disturbing Baby On Board sign, I think, I have ever seen.

baby on board sign with two naked toddlers

Why are there two? Why are they naked? Why are they embarrassed about being naked? Why do they have cloven hooves? And, the facial expressions are beyond description.

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Traditional American Coffee Served in a Jar

March 1, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

a glass jar

This is a jar, ladies and gentlemen. And this, filled with coffee, was what I pictured in my head when I read “Traditional American coffee served in a jar” in the menu at La Brioche.

menu listing coffee options

I also imagined just what kind of traditional Americans would drink coffee in a jar. Ma and Pa Kettle came to mind or maybe the Beverly Hillbillies.

Well, since it was only a dirham more than a regular latte, I took the bait. I had to see just what traditional American coffee in a jar was.

coffee pot, cream pitcher and coffee cup full of very dark coffee

Okay, Frenchies, that is a coffee pot, not a jar.

Now having complained about bad translation, I must say I was happy with my coffee in a jar, because I got three cups out of it and that is almost like having free refills. (Although, considering I paid a little over $4 for it, not really free refills.)

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At the Catwalk

February 26, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

Thursday night we went to the Miss Selfridge fashion show announcing the opening of the store in the Dubai Mall. Why? DaddyBird was invited.

sign: the one who tweets @ Daddy Bird

The catwalk at the Dubai Mall is in one of the atriums and rises out of the floor.

catwalk entrance

My favorite line from the introduction was the claim that the line is “fashion forward like 70’s throwback.” Some outfits were classic and sensible.

pink blouse and black pleated skirt

Some, not so much.

leopard print pantsuit

The shoes – no practicality there.

platform high heel shoe

After the show, the catwalk recedes back into the floor and becomes a kid magnet.

kids running and playing on the lighted mall floor

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Margaritas by the Sea

February 25, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

Wednesday evening we went here:

round restaurant on a spit

The 360 Lounge (restaurant below and bar on the top deck) which is next door to this:

Burg al Arab by night

And since it gets down to the mid-60s Fahrenheit at night these days, there were heaters to keep us from freezing to death.

gas space heater

Why were we there? You may ask. It was a promotional event for the newest Norton 360 software product. (See the connection? 360 software, 360 Lounge) Free drinks and a nice view.

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American Food

February 19, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

After my recent post about eating at a Turkish restaurant, our devil’s advocate, Rupert, goaded me about being in one of the most multicultural cities, but not writing about American food.

1. We didn’t come here to eat American food.

2. Not going to be of much interest to readers back in the U.S., because they eat it every day.

3. Some American foods are hard to find here.

For example, we are still in search of a good American breakfast. Take today’s candidate for example:

plate of 2 eggs, bacon, potato cake and bowl of beans

First, there may be some region(s) of America where beans are breakfast food, but I have not witnessed this. Beans for breakfast are a British thing. Also, that was a tasty potato cake, but definitely should not be listed in the menu as hash browns. Hash browns should look like a haystack, not a round patty. The meats are limited to non-pork in most restaurants here, so cannot hope to come close to real bacon, sausage or ham. These were a turkey sausage (hot dog) and soggy beef bacon. There were pancakes on the menu, but I didn’t order them. Perhaps I should have.

What do I consider a classic American breakfast?

1. Eggs – cooked any of a variety of ways – fried, scrambled, poached, boiled

2. Hash browns – shredded potatoes, pan fried until crispy brown on the outside (I like ’em salty, too)

3. Pork – bacon, sausage, or ham, maybe even pork chops

4. Some people prefer beef – steak or chicken fried steak (steak breaded and pan fried)

5. Bread – pancakes, toast, or muffins

6. Juice – usually citrus – orange, grapefruit

7. Coffee with free refills – this is vital and no one here understands the economics of this.

Why this combo? This comes from American farmers who got up before the sun, needed a hearty meal that could get them through the day, was quick to cook, and came from their own farm. Therefore, eggs, meat, potatoes, and bread.

We’ve found one restaurant chain that comes close – Coco’s. They have good pancakes and omelettes, but they only have “country potatoes” not hash browns. And, of course, no free refill coffee.

There is another restaurant, who shall remain nameless, who has the audacity to serve the triangular potato patty, like McDonald’s serves, and call that hash browns and charge a ridiculous amount for it.

So, our search for a good American breakfast continues. It may have to begin and end in our own kitchen. I suspect that is the only place I’ll find coffee refills.

Sometime in the not too distant future, I’ll tell you about meatloaf.

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Speed Bump Ahead

February 12, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

There is a new GIGANTIC speed bump on our street. It appears to accommodate some very large pipes that start here.

pump machinery

And go along here, entering the speed bump…

large black pipes entering side of the speed bump made of bricks

The speed bump, itself…

large speed bump made of bricks and cement

At the other side the pipes continue…

pipes going down an alley covered in part by wooden boxes

Then end in this curly Q…

large black pipes that circle & attach to each other

Notice that the ends of the two pipes seem to be attached to each other in one big, pointless loop. We are assuming that is only temporary and that they will be eventually attached to something else. Also, even though the speed bump is made of cement and bricks, we expect it to be temporary, too. It is the Dubai way.

caution sign with a zig zag arrow

If this sign were to truly symbolize Dubai it would have to look more like a crazy straw than just a zig zag.