Living the Travel Channel

Inexplicable use of English

May 22, 2009

We have a new favorite website – http://engrishfunny.com. A small warning — some of the content is not for children. It is a collection of pictures of signs and packaging with badly translated English. Very funny, especially since we see this stuff around us frequently.

Yesterday, I was in Abu Dhabi and saw a business sign “La Poupee.” We were driving by, so I didn’t see what kind of business it was, but even if it is French, it is a poor choice, I think.

Daddybird has a collection of pictures of nonsensical sayings on t-shirts. See a few of them below. I agree with Etlsac about the “slips of paper in a hat” theory related to the creation of the strange toys, but I also envision a sweatshop somewhere where the “designers” are given refrigerator poetry magnets and encouraged to arrange the words randomly to produce the slogan to be put on the t-shirts.

Roses grow wildland
Feeling plue indeed like the timre you didn’t do me

2 cool fo school

Saturday Evening Post — WORR — Unfortunately, the words at the bottom are illegible, but I am sure they didn’t make any sense.

Dream Dream — This beauty built by heart — Shining my personality — Destroy all of the culture — Bright Bright

Let’s play a fun game of Living – Non-living! Can peacocks sing? I’ve always wondered.

This is a personal favorite. Daddybird saw this and thought someone had slipped that penguin into the bear’s pants as a joke. No, the penguin was sewn to the bear. It is supposed to be a set. I’m sure there is a world of tasteless penguin in your pants jokes, but I will refrain.

Posted in oddities, toys | 1 Comment »

Random remarks

May 22, 2009

So, Linda is critiquing my use of the word “mute” (see comment on previous post). Mute refers to inability to or choice not to speak rather than choice not to write. So, what is the right word? “Illiterate” doesn’t work because it implies the inability to read as well as write, and clearly that doesn’t apply. “Dysgraphia” doesn’t work ’cause that refers to difficulty/inability in writing skills.

How about “voyeurs?” Looking on, silently. I better quit before I offend you all and you stop looking on.

Glad you have all enjoyed, or at least been astonished by, the most recent toy episode. I think that Mickey is from an alternate storyline where he accidentally got into some PCP for a “Just Say No” anti-drug campaign. Why hasn’t Disney seen the merit in the “Mickey goes berserk” concept?

A street atlas of Dubai was just published. This was a major undertaking because Dubai is a city under construction. So, this atlas includes the finished and the unfinished. It is amazingly detailed. They have marked where there are stop lights, supermarkets, banks, ATMs, gas stations, cinemas, libraries, pharmacies (only the major ones), and more. Pretty exciting to us. I’m going to suggest to the college that the new employees arriving in August be given a copy.

Posted in toys, Us | 2 Comments »

Stats

May 20, 2009

The blog has been visited over 1,000 times since I switched to WordPress in April. Woo hoo! Now, if only it wasn’t being viewed by 1,000 mutes.

Posted in Us | 4 Comments »

New Toys

May 20, 2009

Here it is, finally. Sorry to make you wait, but the fancier my videos get (title screens, captions, etc.), the longer it takes to produce them. Hope it was worth the wait.

Posted in toys, video | 5 Comments »

Toys

May 14, 2009

Hey, there was no April toy video and, yet, there was no outrage or uprising either. Hmmm. I’ve got a couple. Wanna see ’em?

Posted in toys | 2 Comments »

Naif, part two

May 11, 2009

I sneakily turn my camera on record and hold it nonchalantly in front of me as if I am just carrying it. It makes for blurry, bumpy and generally bad video, but it is the only way to capture the scene. This will give you everything but the smells (some good, some bad).

Posted in Naif, video | 1 Comment »

Roach!

May 10, 2009

I was walking to the car this morning and saw a large bug on the ground. I immediately thought of the scarab beetle we saw last week, so sidestepped. Then I realized it was a big roach. After I got over my heebie geebies, I stepped on it. Yuck.

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Naif

May 9, 2009

I was feeling like we hadn’t had an adventure lately. Or maybe our adventures are getting too tame. Daddybird declared that we were going to take a walk in Naif, a nearby neighborhood. We had dinner at “Asia Restaurant.” Using Asia in the most liberal way. It was Indian food. I had “chicken fry” which is almost out of the picture – a skinless wing and breast cooked crispy and tasty. Daddybird had chicken biryani. The plate with tomatoes on it is actually chopped cabbage, carrots, cucumbers, onions and tomatoes. The bread is freshly made flat bread. Does this look like $7.00 worth of food?

Look like $7 worth of food to you?

A common site in Naif is the gathering of hand trucks chained to a street sign. Apparently, this is how they store them when not in use. During the day there are guys moving goods from place to place with these hand trucks.

Common sight in Naif

Here’s the Picadilly Hotel sign with a cupid. Not sure why they chose a cupid.

Someday I will do a montage of business signs. There seem to be three types – straightforward but boring business names, overly creative business names that tell you noting about the nature of the business, and those that seem like a really bad idea (like Exit Restaurant). This is one of those straightforward ones. Smokers Centre.

This last picture makes the whole evening worthwhile. Maybe I’ve been watching too many episodes of the Electric Company that Daddybird got from Itunes. I used to love that show as a kid. It is still great and entertaining. Anyway, I love this sign. It says is all.

Picture worth a thousand words?

Posted in Dubai, Naif, oddities | 3 Comments »

Lessons in Globish

May 8, 2009

The secret to mastering Globish is in the vocabulary. Globish has a very limited vocabulary. Not much in the way of synonyms. So, you have to figure out which word works. After a lifetime of driving up to the gas pump and saying “fill ‘er up with regular,” we now have to say “95 full” in order to get a tank of 95 octane. Nothing more, nothing less. [Yes, it’s been a long time since Americans have been able to afford saying “fill ‘er up,” but if you said it, the attendant would understand.]

Another example, when you order water at a restaurant and the waiter asks “big or small” do not say “large.” He will only have to ask again “big or small” because large is not in the vocabulary. No synonyms, remember.

If a coworker asks if another coworker has gone for the day by saying “is Saleena left?” Don’t reply with “Saleena is gone.” It does not compute. This also illustrates the fun of native Arabic speakers trying to learn English. I am told that Arabic doesn’t have a lot of verb tenses, like English does. They pretty much speak in the present tense. They don’t have future perfect, pluperfect, dangling pariciples, whatever. So, the complexities of English are quite a challenge. I’m not a grammarian myself, but I can manage the basic verb tenses.

This business of having to stick to a limited vocabulary and use the same words contained in the question when you answer is especially difficult for me, because I have always had an aversion to using the same words. For example, if someone said “hello” to me, I would say “hi,” or vice versa. I don’t like to reply the same way.

Also, I apparently don’t pronounce the word “orange” in an intelligible way. I say it “orunge.” I haven’t quite figured out how to say it the “right” way, yet, so I’ve given up on ordering orange juice. Back home I got teased for saying “nekked” instead of “naked.” Of course, we don’t say that word at all here!

Posted in Globish | 3 Comments »