Joy Was Her Middle Name
October 16, 2026Joy was her middle name. Karla Joy Castle. (Née Kessell.)
The day before Karla passed, while a few of the family were talking to her, and Karla was signing some documents, my sister-in-law noticed her middle name, and asked if there was a reason it was given to her. In response, Karla told us this story, which I didn’t remember hearing before.
When Karla’s mother found out that she was pregnant with her, she was not very happy. Karla was a surprise baby. Her parents hadn’t planned on having anymore children, and the other children were well on their way to being grown, their current youngest being 9 years old. A neighbor tried to cheer her up by saying, “Don’t worry, this baby will be a joy to you.” So she was given that as a middle name.
And to those of us who knew Karla, she very typically did bring joy. She was generally a fairly quiet person, but when someone needed help, she was quick to speak up and to act.
Instances of Karla bringing joy into people’s lives are numerous. In one case, when Karla was in fifth grade and she and several other students were gathering for an activity, Karla made a point of asking Lonnie, a fellow student who wasn’t always included, to join them. This was the start of a great friendship between them that lasted the rest of Karla’s life.
When Karla and I married, and I joined her in Portland, OR, I found that she was very well respected at the college she worked at by faculty and students for being helpful, competent, and pleasant. A professor recalled, “Karla was willing to do/try anything new that contributed to the students’ love of learning. She was a wonderful colleague.” I benefitted from her good reputation; her friends presumed that if Karla had chosen me, then I must be OK.
In the first summer after our marriage, when we were visiting family, Karla was sitting with my daughter, Rachel, and having fun helping her cut out paper dolls. After a while Rachel looked up at me and said, “Daddy, are you finally having a happy marriage?” I smiled and said, ‘Yes, I am.” To which Rachel replied, “Good, because I really love Karla.”
Her good professional reputation endured when Karla worked in the library at an international school in Shanghai, and had local assistants, she put great effort and enthusiasm into training them as much as she could, After working for Karla for a while, one of her assistants exclaimed to her, ”You’re always helping people! You’re always teaching!”
Karla engendered joy with her sense of humor as well. The hours of laughter we had together were many. And when at a gathering, most friends knew that the best seat in the house was next to Karla, where she would joyfully exchange hilarious, often snarky comments with her neighbor. As one dear friend said, “She was wickedly funny. I loved sitting next to her when we went out for dinner as we always giggled so much.”
I, of course, was the recipient of the most joy, because of Karla. Living with Karla was always fun and adventurous. She was always a stalwart, enthusiastic companion during our life and travels around the world. Her enduring love for me was evident, even when I made mistakes.
Indeed, both literally and figuratively, Joy was her middle name.
DaddyBird
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