Archive for the ‘culture shock’ Category

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Just a woman

June 9, 2009

For the most part, I find that people interact with me normally and accord me basic respect. However, I have had two amazing instances of being invisible. The first was at a fast food restaurant in a mall. We were both there. I stated very clearly to the clerk what my order was, but she did nothing. Didn’t punch it in or acknowledge me in any way. Daddybird told her what he wanted and she hopped right on it. He came to my rescue and repeated my order to her. I guess I’m not allowed to eat unless my man says it’s okay. Her attitude changed when it was me who pulled out money and paid for the meal. Suddenly, I came into focus.

Yesterday’s experience was at a bank. We were attempting to open an account with a different bank because we don’t like the poor service we get from our current bank. However, can’t say we care much for the service at this new one either. The customer service person we were dealing with was male. He was not interested in my information in the least. Don’t bother him with information about my salary or employment. Forget about putting my name on the account, too. They have a real hard time understanding the concept of joint account here. Friends of ours who tried to explain that they wanted a joint account actually had the bank employee say “But, sir, she could run away and take all your money!” Is it any wonder the divorce rate is high here?

We’ll have to keep looking. Maybe there’s an American or European based bank that can supply an actual joint account.

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Not knowing our place

March 4, 2009

We went to a local chicken “fast food” restaurant. I put fast food in quotes because they don’t have food ready sitting under a heat lamp. If you order the 15 piece family meal, they actually have to cook 15 pieces of chicken for you while you wait, even though your order is “to go” and not “eat in.” This is not American fast food.

Anyway, we waited. When our order was about ready, the guy filling our drinks dropped a cardboard drink carrier on the floor. He was behind a counter and unable to reach it. Paul automatically walked over and picked it up. The guy waved and said “No, sir, no” and gave Paul one of the most scornful looks ever. How dare he pick that up! We were greatly amused. I told Paul “It’s because you just don’t know your place.” We live in a topsy turvy world. It was like the opposite of “who do you think you are?!” So, I’ve coined another word – downity. It’s the opposite of uppity. It applies to folks like us who were taught to pick up after ourselves, be kind to others and pitch in to help who are now trying to adjust to a world where someone is paid to pick up after us and we are not supposed to pick up after them.

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The best part of yesterday

January 30, 2009

Before we moved here, we decided that we were going to be big tippers because the service industry workers here don’t make very big salaries and we want to spread the wealth around. (When the standard tip is about $0.55, it’s not hard to be a big tipper.) I usually leave the decision of how much to tip to Paul and sometimes he is a VERY big tipper.

Paul’s favorite restaurant is Aroos Damascus, a Syrian restaurant a few blocks from our apartment. We have eaten there together about four times. Now, the waiters see Paul coming and herd him into their sections. There is a main waiter who takes the order and oversees the section and there are assistant waiters who bring the dishes, food, bread, etc. Our assistant waiter brought out the usual plates, silverware, bottle of water and plastic cups. Our head waiter saw this and told him to bring out glass glasses. No plastic for us. I looked around at the other tables to see if glass glasses were the new policy. No, everyone else had plastic cups.

It was a moist night (there was dew on our car when we got back to it – weird) and I was having trouble with the salt shaker because it had gathered moisture and the salt wasn’t coming out. I tried to solve this problem inconspicuously, but that was impossible, so the waiter saw what was happening and brought me salt from another table (which had the same problem unfortunately).

The bread is pocket bread baked fresh on the premises and the bread they were bringing us was almost too hot to eat. It was literally right out of the oven. At one point, our bread waiter collected the “old” bread from our basket and put in fresh hot bread even though the “old” bread had been there about 3 minutes.

They clucked over us and saw to our every need. When Paul’s meat entre arrived, the head waiter set it down with a flourish and said “Special, for my friend!”

A little good will goes a long way, especially in the Arab culture. Diplomats could learn from this.

We basked in the v.i.p. treatment then tipped big and went home.

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Continuing difficulty adjusting

January 26, 2009

Let me start with another [contrite hanging of the head] confession. We shopped at IKEA last night. In my defense, let me say that it is often difficult to find what we need at all, let alone at a reasonable price. We even found something close to drapery hooks which we have been seeking since we moved in. We bought a mess of kitchenware. Up ’til now we had been getting by with a couple of malmac plates and some cheapo silverware. We also bought two office chairs.

When we moved in here we inherited a few leftovers from the previous tenant including 4 plastic patio chairs that had been out on the balcony all summer long baking in the sun. This made them brittle, so two of the chairs quickly shattered (while we were sitting in them) and we have been babying the other two as Paul sits at his computer and I do my sewing. Knowing that they might shatter at any moment motivated us to look for something better. We resorted to IKEA only after looking in a store that was exclusively chairs and finding that the price was thousands of dirhams. They were nice chairs, but really!

So, on our way out of the store, I was pushing the cart full of kitchen stuff and Paul was pushing the cart with the two chairs (in boxes). An IKEA employee whose job it is to hang out in the parking garage and help customers like us offered to take the cart for Paul, who being an independent American said “No thanks, I’ve got it.” The man did not accept this and followed us reaching for the cart handle until Paul gave in. He then helped us put our stuff in the car and we thanked him.

We get home, where we have basement parking, and now have the challenge of how are we going to get all this stuff up to the 8th floor? So, we take what we can carry for the first load and head up. I pulled my suitcase wheel thingy out of the closet and suggest that will be useful to bring up the chair boxes. Paul takes it and heads down to the security/reception desk on the ground floor where they have a grocery cart that we’ve seen others use to bring up groceries, etc. Paul asks if he can use it. The man asks “downstairs?” Paul says “yes.” The man asks if he should help. Paul politely declines. The man says “Respect me, sir.” … How can one not accept his help after that.

Being from America where everyone is supposed to pull their own weight (bootstraps, or whatever), clean up after themselves and make their own way, it is difficult for us to make the shift to a culture where letting someone do our manual labor is respectful. Service jobs are anything, but respected back home. These people take pride in toting someone’s groceries. It beats what they come from, which makes me shudder to think what they come from.

It’s a whole different world.

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Inauguration, Turkey, Tourists

January 20, 2009

Just watched the inauguration of our new president via CNN live feed. We expected trouble keeping the Internet connection and getting to see the whole thing, but it went smooth as glass and we saw and heard every word.

Earlier today we were shopping. One of the employees in the store talked to Paul. He was asking if Paul spoke Hindi. Paul told him he only speaks English. The man couldn’t believe it and asked it he spoke Turkish or was from Turkey. Paul finally got across that he is from “The States” and only speaks English. That was a new one, being taken for a Turk. People seem to be very confused by the beard. Who knew it had such super power — the power of confusion.

Later in an elevator, a man assumed we were tourists and asked us how we were enjoying Dubai during our visit. The pendulum swings both ways.

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Beard question

January 13, 2009

Question:
“Is Paul’s beard an eye catcher here?” Yes, but not in the way you might have thought.

Before we came and we were pondering what it might be like here, Paul wondered what might happen if he dressed in native apparel. I told him they would think he was an albino with his fair skin and blue eyes. Little did we know that he wouldn’t even have to change his dress to be noticed.

He began to notice that construction workers would look surprised/confused and then say “Salaam aleykum” to him. He also noticed that taxi drivers often asked if he was muslim or where he was from. At one point, he began to get more “ogles” than I. He asked our friend, Amed, about this and Amed was nodding his head “yes” before Paul even finished describing the situation. It seems that there is a wealthy Pakistani family that are known for their red beards. They dress in western clothes and are of fair complexion. So, these construction workers see Paul walking down the street looking like a wealthy Pakistani and they are confused to see him “out of context.”

As for beards, some Arabs have beards, although they are usually neatly trimmed. The Sikhs have bushy beards, so Paul’s is not that unusual here.

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Sushi within walking distance

November 20, 2008

We walked to Kisaku, a lovely little Japanese restaurant. It had been several weeks since our last sushi. I was in serious withdrawals. It was very good and the California roll pieces turned out to be twice the size I expected, so Paul helped me by eating the last two pieces. When it came, it was so beautiful, I wanted to take a picture. One has to be careful when taking pictures lest one be suspected of being a spy for the competitors. So, I didn’t take it. You will have to imagine how lovely it was.

Other than the waitresses, there were only two other women in the restaurant and neither of them was caucasian. The place was packed and Paul and I were the only non-Japenese people there. This place gets lots of good reviews in the papers and restaurant guides and is on the top floor of a hotel, so we expected more variety in the clientele. But, a Japanese restaurant packed with Japanese customers is a good sign that the food is authentic and good.

And, next time we’ll know to call for a reservation so that we will be able to sit at a table instead of the counter.

It was a pleasant walk to and from the restaurant. There was a cool breeze and I only got a little sweaty, mostly from the effort not the temperature. It is a pleasant change of pace. In September and October, when it was still hot, it would actually get hotter after the sun went down because hot humid air would come in off the ocean.

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Electrical devices and other trivia

October 11, 2008

This is what electrical outlets look like here. Each one has a toggle on/off switch. Below are two typical plug styles and an universal adapter that lets you plug in just about anything. The voltage is 22o, twice the 110 in the States. There are also switches for each of the major appliances – the kitchen stove, the clothes washer, and the clothes dryer. We’ve had to learn to check and make sure things are switched on, otherwise you’re waiting a long time for the frying pan to heat up.
Below is the light switch for the bathroom and the water heater switch. Each room that has plumbing has its own water heater switch. If you don’t switch it on, all you can expect is lukewarm water. If I want a hot shower in the morning, the water heater has to be switched on before I go to bed. Then the water will be HOT, the kind of melt plastic bottles hot that Paul was complaining about.
Below is the back of the packaging for the night light that Paul got for the bathroom. In case you can’t read it, I will transcribe.
“Nushi Night Lamp
This nigh lamp series is elegant in appearance. It adopts advanced electric circuit and material
It is safe and energy-saving.
There are several colors of light for choice.
The white color is high brightness, suitable for using at the corridor, staircase and bathroom.
The yellow, pink amd light blue coldrs are suitable for bedroom, their gentle light will not dazzle while sleeping.
The green color is suitable for karaoke room and decoration cabinet.
It brings comfort and romantic feeling to your home.”
The front of the package was labeled “Dim Night Lighting.”
I have been careful to preserve the spelling errors and grammar for your enjoyment. We are often entertained by the descriptions on packages here, like OMO laundry soap that declares “Dirt is good.” Makes no sense to me.
We discovered and purchased the world’s ugliest kitchen clock. As you can see it is a big ear of corn with eyes that swing back and forth with the pendulum, which has two onion headed beings in love on it. And, for some unknown reason, he has a picture of melon/cantelope on his stomach/clockface and a saying “Love – Thinking of you. All the best wishes. Benediction your friend.” It isn’t actually keeping time. We either need a better battery or a new clockwork.
Below is the advertisement in the window of a travel agency in our neighborhood and if you have seen anything South Park, you will recognize why I took this picture. There is a fair amount of trademark and copyright infringement here. At the very least, they walk close to the line — like SFC Southern Fried Chicken (knock off of KFC) and Frozen Slab Ice Cream (knock off of Cold Stone Creamery).

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Wafi City Mall

October 11, 2008

This is inside the Khan Murjan. It is a recently constructed souk (marketplace) in which they pulled out all the stops to include traditional architecture and artistry. It is two floors and both are underground. There is beautiful carved wood everywhere and this picture shows the stained glass window ceiling. The souk was divided into different areas by regional areas – Egypt, Africa, Lebanon, etc. All the shops are supposed to sell traditional goods — carpets, Arabic garments, Middle Eastern style tea pots, jewellery, etc. There was a spice store, but it was closed 😦 The items were kinda spendy, so not exactly a real souk. I don’t know if they would have bartered and sold for a lower price. This is sort of a rich tourists souk.
The traditional souk is connected to a much larger modern mall — Wafi City — which is done in Egyptian style architecture (including a pyramid). These pictures are of the Eye of Ra, a stained glass dome in the mall. It was impossible to get the whole thing in one shot. The Eye is in the dome and then a tornado shaped spiral of glass extends to the floor.
Before we went to this mall, someone had mentioned that it is never crowded. Once we got there we discovered why. The shops are all high end (maybe with the exception of Marks and Spencer who are my friends where I can buy clothes and shoes in my size). We discovered Japengo, a multicultural restaurant that has SUSHI. Yeah! I’ve been missing my sushi! I also had the most decadent hot cocoa at one of the shops here. Yummy.

Luckily, Paul is a spatial genius. Otherwise I would get completely lost in these malls. We found the chocolate shop just after having eaten all that sushi, so we decided to come back later. Luckily, Paul knew how to get back to it. I would have had to locate a mall map and spend 10 minutes trying to figure out where to go.

Shopping here is like an extreme sport. Imagine the Clackamas Town Center mall (or any big mall in your area) the week before Christmas. That is what every Saturday is like. Madhouse. Very few of the stores have anything I would even consider buying, so I have a hard time understanding what everyone is shopping for every week.

Last night we walked down to the Lulu Hypermarket in our neighborhood. It was crowded with people. I was at the counter trying to pay for our items and a little guy (less than 5 ft tall) pushes up shoving his money and the item he wanted to buy toward the clerk, pushing me out of the way as I am trying to sign the debit card slip to finish my transaction. I am so amazed by the complete inability of people to wait their turn. They don’t know how to line up or wait. If there isn’t a physical lane leading to the counter that forces people to line up, there is a jostling crowd. And, unfortunately, the rude person is the one that gets served. I spent all my life learning to be polite, now I have to relearn to be rude.

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A good day

September 23, 2008

If you are already jealous of us, this is a blog entry you might want to skip. Two good things happened yesterday. #1 Our electricity/water/sewage bill came. Not many people would say that is a good thing, but for one month it came to Dhs 217 (approx. $59.00). Our water bill alone back in Ptld was $50.00/mo. So, considering that we have the air conditioning going 24/7, $59.00 is pretty amazing.

#2 We went up to the roof last night and swam in the pool. We could see the beautiful city lights from up there. It was great to swim under the stars. It was warmer outside than in the pool, so when we got out we weren’t shivering. A very pleasant evening indeed and one that bears repeating.

One of our orientation sessions was about culture shock and the stages one goes through after moving to a new country. This included an initial high followed by depression followed by a return to balance. I keep asking Paul when the depression is going to hit. We haven’t seen hide nor hair of it. Going to the immigration office gives me the heeby geebies, but that’s as close as I’ve come.