I’ve written a few remembrances of my late wife, Karla. Here’s the first:
I have long eschewed the term “soul mates”. It just tends to be overused. And too often by that acquaintance you have who declares that their latest new love is their ‘soul mate’, only to break up with that person in a few weeks.
The expression seems like a lofty one to me, which few are likely to achieve. (It really must be so, for it to carry much meaning.) A truly deep meaningful relationship, built on uncommon compatibility and forged with determination and acceptance. Seems like high praise that one should not confer upon oneself or one’s relationship in a frivolous manner. So I was never so bold as to claim it, despite being in a very compatible and happy relationship.
But I’m being hypocritical, really. Because Karla and I regularly used another term, which means basically the same thing. That term is “lobster”. ( It’s a reference from the TV show “Friends”. Look it up.) We were just right for each other. We were meant to be together. And we grew closer together with all the trials and travel we experienced. Our abodes have long been festooned with lobster themed paraphernalia, as a frequent reminder of our close relationship.
So, what made me reconsider the appellation of “soul mates”? Of course I have done a lot of reflection since Karla passed. But then a dear friend commented on one of my posts online, and mentioned that we were soul mates. I guess the outside affirmation made me reconsider the application of the phrase.
Others certainly considered our relationship to be something special. And it was absolutely a pleasure to be in it, and consistently remained so for years. When we were early in our relationship, before we got married, my father observed us laughing and talking together for a while, then said to my mother, “Oh, they’re going to be fine together. They have the same evil brain!” Our commonality made it easy to be partners, and gave us much to build on when it was just she and I against the world.
O.K., I’ll claim it. Karla and I were meant for each other. We were each other’s ‘lobster’. We were soul mates.
Living the Travel Channel 